tic_tac_whoa

 I recently bought myself an anthology of selected poems of the English language to delve into. Here are some I have read so far that have struck my fancy.

My Love in Her Attire by Anonymous
My love in her attire doth show her wit,
It doth so well become her:
For every season she hath dressings fit,
For winter, spring, and summer.
No beauty she doth miss,
When all her robes are on:
But Beauty's self she is,
When all her robes are gone.

Love Not Me by Anonymous
Love not me for comely grace, 
For my pleasing eye or face,
Not for any outward part:
No, nor for a constant heart!
For these may fail or turn to ill;
So thou and I shall sever.
Keep therefore a true woman's eye,
And love me still, but know not why!
So hast thou the same reason still
To doat upon me ever. 

Farewell to Love by Michael Drayton
Since there's no help, come let us kiss and part;
Nay I have done, you get no more of me;
And I am glad, yea, glad with all my heart,
That thus so cleanly I myself can free;
Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again,
Be it not seen in either of our brows
That we one jot of former love retain.
Now at the last gasp of love's latest breath,
When his pulse failing, passion speechless lies,
When faith is kneeling by his bed of death,
And innocence is closing up his eyes,
Now if thou would'st, when all have given him over,
From death to life thou might'st him yet recover.

Has everyone else discoverd textsfromlastnight.com yet? I have to admit, I thought fmylife was hilarious, but texts from last night might be even better. People submit drunk texts that I find eternally amusing and hilarious. Some samplings for you:

(803): I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?

(320): If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

(864): you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.

(325): she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

(216): bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
(440): isn't bella the cat???
(216): that she is

(703): it wasn't lemon gatorade

(805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

HOLY COW! I could pee my pants right now! Two of my favorite musicians, collaborating together=heaven for my ears <3 

Ray & Damien FTW! :)


Also worth sharing is this orgasmic cover of the Gnarls Barkley song "Crazy" by Ray. Relish the amazingness!

I've never in my life felt so truly, and genuinely loved. It's crazy. I don't even have words for it.

Just :) :) :)

I'm learning that:
1.) minuscule fights are more prone to happen when both parties in a relationship are stressed.
2.) keeping a planner is vital for day to day survival.
3.) study buddies are actually quite effective.
4.) one should never procrastinate when it comes to laundry.
5.) an erection is a "vascular phenomenon." (my biology teacher's words not mine)

Oh college, you are worth every penny.

 I am officially obsessed with zombie movies now. Seriously, they are great.

I curse all the ____ time.
Really, I do.

The video just about makes my life.

What Penis Means

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

i just don't know where to start. it's all so genius.

ROFL LOLLER OMG!

yao ming--yes he's the ridiculously tall 7'6" Chinese NBA player currently playing for the Rockets--is getting married.  I bring this point up only because the woman he is marrying is not only a fellow Chinese basketball player, but she's also ridiculously tall....six feet and two inches tall to be exact.

their kids are going to be giants.